Went to visit babyboy in the morning at 11.30am just now. Well, i woke up at 9am . Rushed becoause ibu said i've got to be there by 10am. Whereas , the visiting time was an hour later. PFFT . In a simple appearence . Wearing jeans and v-neck shirt with eye-liner and off to bustop . Took 58. Alight at KBC. Then walked to KBC as fast as i could. Looked around for ibu and ayah but they wasnt ard. Haha. Waited for about 20 mins alone. I was damn worry if i couldnt meet babyboy just now because i thought ibu and ayah was late for the visiting. Haha. Well, i know i shouldnt have tell you guys in detail of what i wore, walking slowly of as fast as i could. Haha. I know im being PATHETIC here.
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11.00am , went in to the visitng room and saw babyboy's face . I smiled cause i missed him badly and its like almost 3 weeks i've not seen him. Maybe la. A bad day or rather bad visitng session of me and him i must say. I wasnt expected that i could have shown my attitude face to him today. Argggghhh. I was very-veeeeery mad at him because he said things that make me unhappy. As i've typed in my previous posts, Ibu doesnt want him to be in the tagging scheme when he's out from prison. So they discussed just now. Babyboy was like showing tantrums that he doesnt want to be released next year instead he wants to be in there for 3 years straight due to he doesnt want to be invovle with all this shits anymore. Ibu cried badly when he said that. Later part , ibu stood up from her sit and let ayah talked to babyboy. He didnt talked to me that much too. I was actually expecting him to talk to me as i misses him alort. Haish. Ayah was like encouraging and advising him to be out on time. At first he doesnt wants but after ayah said about his health, then he make up his mind to be out next year which is just few more months. He promised ibu. While he was talking to ayah , he looked at me and i was not in the good mood to talk to him after all his words dissapoints me then i looked into his eyes then i took my eyes of him with an attitude face. He definately knows im not happy about something. Therefore he asked ' Knape nan muke you ?' and i was like ' tkder pape uhs. ' He then kept talking to his mom . Suddenly he called me and asked if its true i wanna work ? I then replied ' uh-uhs. I nk keje.' His face was like a crumpled paper then he said, ' umo dier aru brape. nk keje ape? ' All i did was just ' Enth . i have too. i;ve got to buy my sch stuffs myself. Mama tknk kuakn duet untok org lagy.' With my stupid fcuking facial expression. He then later talk abt why things like this happen bla3. All i did was just look at his with one of a kinf of expression. Later he asked , ' Eyk. knape ni nan muke ? Org nk dier dtg visit sebab org rindu dier tao bkn nk suro dier buat muke ni mcm . Lao pk nk ni mcm , tkya dtg visit la ! ' Then i flung up without thinking the consequenses i raised my voice to him and said ' You yg nk mcm ni pe ! ' . My Tears flows down immed. Muke dier troz brubah ! Muke mengamok giler pei . But what he expect me to do . Since he was the one asking for it and now he's putting the blame on me. I've almost made up my mind to say vugarities to him and tell him we end everyhting here. To think it back , its not worth it because i have to understand him by his situation and thinking of his family members and most importantly , Ayah's health. After cooling my self down , he talked to me slightly as per normal . Saying that pnut's now in RTC. Ayob lakko etc. Advicing me on my life if i work . Lastly, he said ' K la. Make sure next visit dtg ok? Org nk jmpe dier. ' I was like .... ouuhhhh. soo sweet of you inviting me to visit you again on the next visit =D. All i did was smiled widely and not forgetting, on every face to face visits without fail he'll ask for a kiss on his cheeks and mouth . Althought it may sounds stupid kissing your bf on that galss panel and not touching his cheeks though. Well, the thought that counts . Seriously, i regreted raising my voice to him. What i wanted to do now is , i want to write him an apology letter. I was tottaly wrong to talk to him that way. Haish.
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Babyboy, i know u cant be reading this but i want you to know that i regreted doing this to you. Mayb now you're thinking real hard why im acting this way . I cant blame myself too. If its not because of you showing that kind of attitude just now, i wont reacted that way cause i know people who are in there are always stressing themself up by studies, family, relationships etc. I shouldnt have raised my voice and making unnescessary faces to you. Its really wasnt my intention to make our realtionship worst but mayb the communication between me and you are lesser then before. I wonder where are those letters . And at last you asked my if i've receive any letter frm you. I bet you wont make me wait like a stupid girl again like the past month. All i can say is, im SORRY baby. I didnt mean to hurt you in anyways. I swear to god, i'll take good care of your feelings and also you when you're out soon. I'll be waiting . =D. I love you soo much MUHD ISMAWIE BIN *.insert name.* Till we meet again on the next visit .
Labels: IM sorry babyboy...
